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Installing Windows x.xx

/*
  TOP SECRET Microsoft(c)  Code
  Project:          Chicago(tm)

  Projected release-date:

  Summer 1997-Spring 1998

*/

#include "stdlib.h"
#include "stdio.h"
#include "conico.h"
#include "sourceos.h"
#include "win31.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"

/*
  Reference:
  Internal memo #99281-97 from:
                        William H. Gates III
                            to:
                        Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project

  William H. Gates III wrote:
  "I have serious doubts about the 'EASY' installation
   definition. It might prevent customers to think that they
   actually bought something _good_. Therefore I want the
   installation-definition to be 'HARD'.

                                         Carry on,
                                                 God, Bill
  "
*/
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

void main()
{
        while(!CRASHED)
        {
                display_copyright_message();
                display_bill_rules_message();
                do_nothing_loop();
                if(first_time_installation)
                {
                        make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
                        do_nothing_loop();
                        totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
                        search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
                        hang_system();
                }
                write_something(anything);
                display_copyright_message();
                do_nothing_loop();
                do_some_stuff();
                if(still_not_crashed)
                {
                        display_copyright_message();
                        do_nothing_loop();
                        basically_run_windows_3.1();
                        do_nothing_loop();
                        do_nothing_loop();
                }
        }

        if (detect_cache())
                disable_cache();

        if (fast_cpu())
        {
                set_wait_states(lots);
                set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
                set_mouse(action, jumpy);
                set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
         }

        /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
        /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
        printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
        if (system_ok())
                crash(to_dos_prompt);
        else
                system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
        while(something)
        {
                sleep(5);
                get_user_input();
                sleep(5);
                act_on_user_input();
                sleep(5);
        }
/*
  Reference:
  Internal memo #99683-97 from:
                        Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project
                            to:
                        William H. Gates III

  Executive managers Chicago(tm)-project wrote:
  "Dear Sir,
   Since we have found that this last piece of code within the
   'if'-statement will never execute, we descided NOT to
   include it in the final code.  This way we will save at
   least another 5 megabytes of consumer-diskspace!

                        Thank you for listening to us,
                        the executive managers of the
Chicago(tm)-project
 */

/*
        if(still_not_crashed)
        {
                write_cheer();
                finished();
        }
*/

        create_general_protection_fault();
}
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